Monday, July 30, 2007

Rock of Love Episode Three: The Chicks Get Restless!

It has been three weeks and I am still avidly following Rock of Love. Call me crazy, call me wacky, but I love this show. As a rocker chick of many years I can understand where the girls are coming from, and the 21 year old that I have locked up deep inside of me is cheering like mad, wishing she could come out and play. I don't let her, but when I watch the ladies vie for Poison lead singer Bret Michaels' affections, I get a bit competitive.

What can I say? My metal love runs deep.

At any rate, this week finds the ladies competing in a moto cross challenge to win a date with Bret. The final 12 women suit up and practice with two of the best riders in the world: Mercedes Gonzales and Charity Okerson. Both of these women are hardcore champions, and their presence insures that the girls take it seriously.

Dallas gets out early and rides erratically and dangerously. Lacey thinks she has it covered, while Mia seems to be a natural. Bret appears to want to cover his eyes a few times when the ladies ride around. He can't decide whether he is aroused or concerned. Typical Bret reaction.

The ladies split into three teams to see who will win the dates. Dallas the meat lover and Lacey the PETA poster girl are on the same team, and disaster strikes. Lacey falls on her first turn and the girls get behind. When it is Dallas' turn, she flat falls. At first Bret worries she is dead, while Lacey hopes for her demise. Dallas turns out to be okay except for a sore tailbone, so the competition continues.

The odd team of Rodeo, Brandi M., Magdelena, and Sam win. Bret decides to take out Mags and Sam first with Brandi and Rodeo getting their date the next day. On the way home, the ladies break out the booze, and Lacey and Dallas proceed to get into it. By the time they get home, both have points to prove. Lacey dons her PETA shirt while Dallas puts on every piece of fur and leather she can find. The two proceed to get into it, with Dallas pushing Lacey while she eggs her on. Finally, Rodeo can't take it anymore, so she grabs Lacey and manhandles her out of the way. Things calm down from there.

In the meantime, Sam and Mags get their date. They watch a movie about Bret's life and then talk about themselves. Sam and Bret have a great deal in common while Mags is from Poland, so she isn't too familiar with Bret's music. Bret finds both a turn on, so they retire to his room for alcohol and strawberries. Mags kisses Bret and then he turns to Sam for the same. She is nervous and really doesn't want to, but goes for it anyway. After the kiss is over she proclaims that she doesn' t want to orgasm in front of "everybody" so she backs off. Bret is strangely turned on by the word orgasm, but he uses self control and the date ends soon after.

The next day dawns, and Brandi and Rodeo (pictured) get their date. I laughed my ass off when Bret took them bikini shopping like it is every girl's fantasy. Personally, I would die of embarrassment, but then again, I am a bit overweight, while Rodeo has a killer body and Brandi has a cute one. I was a bit jealous of their cute figures at this point. The ladies then get to go break bread and Rodeo proceeds to talk Bret's ear off while Brandi sits quietly, bemused. Bret seems to like both women very much, and it is a relaxing, happy time. I have got to tell you, these two ladies are easily my favorites so far, so I was pleased to see the date went well.

When Bret gets back, he wants to talk to Kristia, as he hasn't gotten to know her too well. Unfortunately, the beautiful blond freezes up and Bret is underwhelmed. Then Bret has nice conversations with Sam and Brandi C, who pretty much solidify their presence there. To cap things off, Bret tries to mediate between Dallas and Lacey. He is turned on by Lacey's unpredicable demeanor, but underwhelmed by Dallas. The writing is on the wall.

At the elimination, all the ladies get a pass except for Lacey, Dallas, and Kristia. Bret tells Kristia he is sorry, but she has to go while Brandi C. cries. Her Barbie twin friend has to leave! Then Bret announces that Dallas has to go as well. She stalks out without so much as a thank you while Lacey gloats. It is a bit painful to watch, but also a bit entertaining.

Other grand moments: Jes appears to develop a personality while continuing to be gorgeous. The "slutty" girls draw caricatures of everyone that aren't very nice. Erin still looks chesty, but seems smarter and less painful to watch this episode. Brandi C. makes me feel like my brain cells are dying. Mia fades a bit into the background, which is a bad sign. Heather keeps the party going with her stripper moves and a sense of humor that is growing on me.

I can hardly wait until this Sunday! The 10 remaining ladies must compose a song and perform for Bret. From what I can tell, it looks extremely frightening, which should make for great TV.

Until next time, Rock on!


Britt Schramm said...

You're crazy and wacky.

Personally, I wish that Bret did the Flavor Flav methodology by giving each girl nicknames. It adds to the whole experience of VH-1's version of The Bachelor.

Heidi Meeley said...

You called it, Britt. I am a bit off center. :-)

I do miss the random nicknames with the poor spelling, but them is the breaks. I hadn't realized how much I missed it until only Rodeo really stood out. You called that one!